Blondes aren't dumb

A blonde decides to show her husband that despite what everyone says, blondes really are smart.

While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint the living room in their house. So the next day as soon as he leaves, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home after work and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a parka and a mink. He asks her what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the room.

He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but what's with her wearing the two coats?
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, ''FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS!''

George Bush's SAT Scores

What did George W. Bush get on his SAT's?

Drool

Dead Bird

A blonde and her father are walking down a street when the father says, ''Look, a dead bird.''
And the blonde looks up and says, ''Where?''

Psychology - Emotional Extremes

At a southern university, students in the psychology program attend their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," says the professor to a student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," says the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asks a young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," she says.

"And you, sir," he asks a young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replies, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up.'"

Nuts

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?

Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

How I Wish to Die

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.