"Great" writer

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer.
When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!"
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Lightbulbs

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change.

The Four Catholic Sons

Four old Catholic women sit and brag about their sons. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman says, "My incredibly handsome son is 6' 2 with broad, square shoulders, good manners and impeccable style. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God!'"

Blonde's E-mail

A blonde complains to a brunette friend that her Internet is down.

The brunette friend offers to let the blonde check her e-mail at her house.
"That's OK," says the blonde. "Why don't you check it and forward me what I got?"

A man walks into a bar.

Hhehehe.

Washington, Nixon, and Bush

Q: What is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon and George W. Bush?

A: Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Dubya doesn't know the difference.

Stick

What's brown and sticky?

A stick