Big Man

A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."

The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

Special Dog

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, "No pets allowed."

The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips."

The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?"

The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."

"If you had what I had"

A guy walks into the bar and orders 12 shots. He starts drinking as fast as he can.

The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The man says, "You would be drinking as fast as me if you had what I have."

"What do you have?"

"75 cents." 

3 shots

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. After drinking, he leaves.

The next day, the same man walks into the bar and orders three shots. The bartender says, "You know I can put all of those in one glass." The man says, "I know. This shot is for me and the other two are for my brothers in Ireland."

This routine goes on for some time now, but one day the man only buys two shots. The bartender asked, "Did something happen to one of your brothers?" The man said, "No. I just decided to quit drinking."

Mario Bros. clothes

What do the Mario Bros. wear?

Denim denim denim

I Love Sleep

I love sleep. I love sleep so much, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Yo dawg

Yo dawg, I heard yo and yo dawg like yo yos so we put yo dawg in yo yo yo so yo can yo yo yo dawg while yo dawg yo yos, dawg.