Saturday, September 4, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
No Tickets
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, "No Tickets?" What do you mean NO TICKETS?"
The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. "I'm terribly sorry, sir," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.
When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, "No Tickets?" What do you mean NO TICKETS?"
The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. "I'm terribly sorry, sir," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris'd.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Who Would Win
Who would win in a fight between Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and the Old Spice Guy?
Leave answer in the comments.
Leave answer in the comments.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The Glass
The glass in different views:
Optimistic: Thinks the glass is half full.
Pessimistic: Thinks the glass is half empty.
Realist: Thinks the glass is half filled.
Alcoholic: Thinks someone should drink the vodka in there already.
Critic: Thinks the glass is F%@*ing ugly!
Philosopher: Thinks the relationship between the glass and the liquid should be analyzed by different points of view.
American: Thinks the water in the glass should be sugared and his double XXL fries should have been ready by now.
Nihilist: Thinks the glass doesn't exist, and neither does he.
Cleptoman: Thinks the glass could fit in his pocket.
Capitalist: Thinks if he bottled it and gave it a New Agey name he could make a fortune.
Idealist: Thinks that one day, cold-fusion from this glass of water will provide unlimited energy and end war.
Communist: Thinks this drink belongs to every single one of us in equal measure.
Sexist: Says, "This glass isn't going to refill itself, honeybun."
Meth addict: Thinks the glass looks a little like a crocodile.
Jesus: Thinks the water shall turn to wine.
Muslim: Thinks the glass insults his religion.
Blonde: Thinks the glass is, like, used for, like, drinking.
Nerd: Thinks the liquid in the glass is most likely H2O.
Aboriginal: Thinks the transparent object is cursed.
Artist: Thinks the glass creates a controlled time-space totally in absurd environment.
Racist: Thinks the glass should get the s$@% out of his country.
Conspiracist: Thinks the government is fluoridating the water for mind-control purposes.
Rebel: Thinks the glass should be broken.
Zombie: Thinks GHgesjhbgDFh EGhjsdgjkbgwjkbeg KJgkrghkjGFKJg
(Is the glass half full or half empty (or any of these others)? Leave answer in comments.)
Optimistic: Thinks the glass is half full.
Pessimistic: Thinks the glass is half empty.
Realist: Thinks the glass is half filled.
Alcoholic: Thinks someone should drink the vodka in there already.
Critic: Thinks the glass is F%@*ing ugly!
Philosopher: Thinks the relationship between the glass and the liquid should be analyzed by different points of view.
American: Thinks the water in the glass should be sugared and his double XXL fries should have been ready by now.
Nihilist: Thinks the glass doesn't exist, and neither does he.
Cleptoman: Thinks the glass could fit in his pocket.
Capitalist: Thinks if he bottled it and gave it a New Agey name he could make a fortune.
Idealist: Thinks that one day, cold-fusion from this glass of water will provide unlimited energy and end war.
Communist: Thinks this drink belongs to every single one of us in equal measure.
Sexist: Says, "This glass isn't going to refill itself, honeybun."
Meth addict: Thinks the glass looks a little like a crocodile.
Jesus: Thinks the water shall turn to wine.
Muslim: Thinks the glass insults his religion.
Blonde: Thinks the glass is, like, used for, like, drinking.
Nerd: Thinks the liquid in the glass is most likely H2O.
Aboriginal: Thinks the transparent object is cursed.
Artist: Thinks the glass creates a controlled time-space totally in absurd environment.
Racist: Thinks the glass should get the s$@% out of his country.
Conspiracist: Thinks the government is fluoridating the water for mind-control purposes.
Rebel: Thinks the glass should be broken.
Zombie: Thinks GHgesjhbgDFh EGhjsdgjkbgwjkbeg KJgkrghkjGFKJg
(Is the glass half full or half empty (or any of these others)? Leave answer in comments.)
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